Mundie Moms

Friday, March 1, 2019

SHADOWHUNTERS TV Series, S3B, E11; LOST SOULS / Review #shadowhunters

From @shadowhunterstv twitter
As we say in ShadowhunterLand, ave, atque, vale -- hail and farewell. Maybe add in a good riddance for good measure. I've decided to bravely forge on with my reviews of these last few episodes. I wonder, at times, if any book fans are still watching. We've been through so much, MMs -- hail and farewell indeed.

Just in the recap of what occurred previously, I was already ho-hummed. Clary was sentenced to death? Jace forced Clary to come to Lillith? MAGNUS TRADED HIS MAGIC TO BREAK LILLITH'S BOND ON JACE? SIMON'S MARK KILLS CLARY? Where was I? Why didn't I remember this? Oh wait, it wasn't in the books! Eleven billionty pages of material, and our friends over at Constantin Films/Freeform just threw it all out. Wait, I remember now. The taste of fandom betrayal. Bitter with an aftertaste of Clary's coffee left out for days.

In BizarroShadowhunterWorld, Jace is attacked by Dotharki in a sewer. I kid you not, there were spear-wielding warriors. Oh wait, they are Seelies according to a whispered comment by Izzy, who along with Alec, follows Jace. RageyJace is my favorite as he allows the SeelieDotharki to impale him before Izzy arrests the faerie warrior.
Found on google.
Time to squeeze in our show's theme song -- "We're coming after youuuuuu, this is the huuuuuunnnnnnnnnt."

Mourning for Clary sequence follows where a montage of tearful Simon, melancholy Magnus and super-sad Jace seems contrived. This is one long sad video set to alternatively plinky music. It's sad, you guys, So sad.

And then Clarissa wakey wakeys. WHAT???? OMG. It's NewFaceJonathanSebbie! He says my favorite line ever -- "Resurrection brought back my real face." Yes, yes, yes, that IS a real line. Someone scripted it. Someone approved it. Someone, please, stop me from laughing until I cry. Or is is crying until I laugh?

From Shadowhunters tumblr
We do get the moving apartment from Lost Souls. And Sebbie-baby has plunked them down in Siberia. Because that's where you go when you don't want to be found in ClicheLand. Of course, Clary runs away through the literal frozen tundra.

From ShadowhuntersTV twitter
Sweet moment with Malec coming up as they take care of Caterina's kiddo, Madzie. As Caterina thanks them for taking care of the child, we get to hear Magnus thank her with the following phrase, "Oh, don't be silly, it is my unbridled pleasure." I choked-laughed on this because dear Everything, could the writing get any worse? I'm only 10 minutes into the show.

Cut to Maia and Simon and a brief discussion how it wasn't Simon's fault that Clary's dead. Then, a cut over to Izzy telling Alec that the Seelie confessed to being tortured by the Gard. Meanwhile, in a separate part of the Institute, Jace is having delusions of dead Clary. Izzy finds Jace all angsty and sad; she reminds him that the Owl did those things not him. It's a weird therapy moment.

I, honestly, half-watched the nonsense that followed. Sebbie brought Clary back in from the cold and served her soup. He's so thoughtful with his cooking. This plot line feels more and more like a psychological thriller. Truthfully, if it wasn't for the other annoying, multiple plot lines, this may be the best thing going for the show.

Whomp, there it is. Another plot. Madzie's Nana, Iris  -- I vaguely remember her -- came to torture Magnus and look through his memories for Madzie's whereabouts. Izzy and Alec figure out that they need to call Caterina. Sooooo many plots, you guys.

In a soup kitchen (the code word of the day must be: soup), we find our boy, Simon, looking for Raphael, who feels so bad about Heidi. But honestly, who cares about that, when Simon needs research on Daylighter abilities. He points Simon to the oldest vamp in NYC, who lives in the sewers of NY (they must've rented some sewer backgrounds and had to make good use of them - 5 stars for staying on budget).  Nomination for worst dialogue in the show:

Simon: How do you know this guy actually exists?
Raphy: Aren't all the legends true?

Excuse me, while I die a thousand deaths.

Gif found on google.
Izzy and Alec dispatch Iris, quickly, by using Seelie magic to entrap her. Consul Penhallow is not happy with Alec, but realizes she can't touch him because of political reasons. Izzy informs the Consul that prisoners are being tortured by the Gard. We see our poor Dorthaki from the beginning of the episode being tortured in a steampunk electric chair.

Back to the moving apartment, Sebbie wants to take Clary to Paris. So, she stabs him. Whoopsies. She apparently, also, stabs herself. That nasty little family rune thing. You guys, Clary could be dead for reals. But, nope. She rises. Realizing how linked they are.

*rising music* (that's what it said in the captions)
Sebbie baby: Amazing.
Clary: No! (but, said more like a matter-of-fact No as in "Would you like sweet and sour chicken?" "No")
Sebbie baby: We are one now, little sister. You and I...we are one.

Total Eyerolls: A good dozen
Worst Dialogue Ever: 4 (I put them in bold for ease in finding them ;) )
Stealing Another Shows Feels: 1
Multiple Uses of Rented Sewer Sets: 2