Mundie Moms

Saturday, March 23, 2019

SHADOWHUNTERS TV Series, S3B, E12; ORIGINAL SIN / Review #shadowhunters

Every time, I think about stopping watching this pure crap show, I think, wait, it may have something redeemable in it. Sadly, I'm always wrong.

So in the second episode of Season 3B, we start off with the Brotherhood of the Traveling Apartment, as our boy, Seb,  and his sissy, Clary, find themselves in good old romantic Paris. Let's start with the awful dialogue right at the beginning:

Seb: I'll forgive you for trying to kill me anyway
Clary: does this work? If one of us gets hurt the other one does, too?
Seb: That appears to be the case.
OML, we just watched an entire scene of it in the previous epi, and in case, we forgot, it was also in the things-you-wish-you-forgot intro of this epi. Bring out all the eyerolls all at once. I can't even with this show. So, I'll focus on the highlights or should I say lowlights.

Malec are being so cute, but weird. A whole monologue from Magnus on going to the Farmer's Market and making orange juice without magic. Let the counts begin! Shirtless Alec count: 1 Malec Fight Training Scene: 1 Malec Kiss Count: 1 It's all cute, but it's just playing to the fan base not moving the plot forward.

Our resident GPS locator, Jace, figures out there are drops in 'barometric pressure" whenever the apartment moves. He's only a jump behind them, now, having located a trace of them in Siberia.

From Today Show's website
Simon and Izzy find the Sewer Rat vamp, who (surprise!) has the Mark of Cain, too. Behold the awesome dialogue:

Back in the traveling apartment, Clary convinces Sebbie to let her go out with him. She thinks she's recognizable with her hair. Ummm, wouldn't she WANT to be recognized? Also, how does she know that Jace is looking for her? Not important. It's Freeform after all. With a swish (and a flick) of his stele, Seb changes her hair to a dark bob. Somewhere in this universe, Heidi Klum is impressed.

Cain and Simon bond over biblical history. We get the story of Cain and Abel. You guys. This show. Ugh. We find out how Cain became a Daylighter. We don't care except for the fact that the story mirrors Simon's. Kinda. Because, you know, Freeform takes all the shortcuts it can. He finds out that he needs to see the Wizard of Oz, I mean, the Seelie Queen. Did we even need to meet Cain? Probably not.

Cut to a bedroom scene with Malec. Is it just me or did anyone else cringe a little? They're cute, but intruding into their actual lovemaking was a little too awkward for me. I know nighttime dramas do this all the time, but umm, yeah-no. A well drawn curtain is fine with me.

Meanwhile, Jace and Luke are investigating Siberia. Lookin' all Off the Grid Hot.
Our favorite detective pair figure out that Lillith must have brought Sebbie back to life.

Montage of pretty places in Paris with appropriate French music. Our resident chef (can anyone, please, explain to me his food obsession?), Sebster, suggests hot chocolate in foodie paradise. I'm awaiting a scene of them sharing a croissant. And YES, we get that scene and this dialogue:

Sebbie: You know, they'll bring you another if you want. You're attacking that like a wolverine.
Clary: Sorry, I didn't have time to eat after I passed out in the Arctic.

Simon and Izzy are in the Seelie Court, where Simon gets the bad news that he may die in the process of getting the mark removed.

At the Institute, Magnus educates Luke, Jace and Alec on inter-dimensional domiciles, and I wonder if there anything like tiny, TARDIS houses. I forsee a new Property Brothers show.

Image result for property brothers gif
gif found here. 
In the antique selling with Seb portion of the show, we find out that there are middle class Greater Demons who hang out at schools, banks, brothels. Seb wants to exchange something for the Morning Star Sword. Demony asks for Clary to wait outside because of her Shadowhunter blood. Is our girl going to run away? This move allows GPSJace to track her. Seb kills the shop owner demon, and a bystander who was trying to get Clary away from the shop. We have NO IDEA who that bystander was. Thanks Freeform.

Our boy, Simon, burns up all his blood in the ritual. So Izzy, willingly, gives him her blood. With the backdrop of a sad, plinky song, Izzy begs Simon to bite her and drink. What we didn't get in the Twlight books/movies, we get here. The love. The agony. The passing out.

Then we get the moment, we've all been waiting for:
Back at the, mobile apartment, Sebbie is raging. Destroying everything. Being the demon that some fans grow to love. I still don't get it.

Total Eyerolls: All the eyerolls in the universe
Worst Dialogue Ever: 3
Shirtless Alec: 2.5 (extra points for using the dialogue "bedroom"
Gratuitous Fan Base Scene: 2